Not all families are there through organic means, nor are they always related by blood. Family can mean a lot of things to different people. The saying that blood is thicker than water can be true in some cases, but it isn’t always the case.
Sometimes, starting a family on our own is not a possibility through ‘conventional means.’ It might be that our same-sex marriage is unfortunately incompatible for this. It might be that we have physical incapabilities that lead us to alternate options. If you’re making this decision, you likely know what’s on the table and know what some of your options can be already.
What I can help you with is something useful as you go through the process of starting your own family. A means to emotionally prepare for this circumstance, to give your best effort towards something with your entire being, and to do so through the ups and downs as you navigate this turbulent time.
Things To Consider When Considering Adoption, IVF, or Surrogacy
You need to be financially prepared for any and all options that occur. We’re not simply talking about the act of preparing for a homestead and buying all the amenities. But in your efforts to see more about surrogacy cost, or even the time investing in a child you might adopt, costs come along with that. IVF treatment can also be costly, as can any and all aftercare processes that might need to take place.
Without the right financial preparation, you might not be prepared for alternate options of finding a child. Remember, you will be financially vetted thoroughly to ensure that you’re capable of looking after the child and that you have a stable history and credit score. It’s a good idea to go into this knowing that there will be hurdles along the way so that you are prepared to jump over them when they arise.
If you are considering adoption, in some cases you will need to meet the child and to develop a relationship with them. Use this time to learn about the child and their personality. For an older child, this can mean their entire world is changing from top to bottom. Relational closeness is the most important thing to foster.
Surrogacy is a little different. While you might not be lifelong friends with the surrogate depending on the pre-written arrangement (not all of them want to stick around afterward for understandable reasons,) it’s important to consider how the relationship will bloom.
You will be vetted and you will vet the surrogate in equal measure. Developing relational closeness is important if this is going to work. There’s perhaps no greater act of friendship possible than to be a surrogate for someone else.
If you will be trying for your own child via IVF, remember that your partner is probably going through many similar emotions as well. Try to be there to support one another in both the ups and downs, create a loving environment in which a child can bloom once you do achieve your dream of conceiving a child on your own.
Loving & Learning
Just like a pregnancy of your own, there are many things to learn from the process of preparing to bring a child into your home. If you focus on the process with diligence, stay aware of each and every step, support your partner and be willing to give all of your love while learning something along the way, your emotions will be prepared, nourished, comforted, supported and overall you’ll blossom.