Many young adults choose to live with their parents, even after they have finished high school. It can be much less expensive than if they were to go out on their own. While you may enjoy having them close by, you are not doing them any favors if you are not also teaching them to be responsible. There are several ways to do this.
Encourage Them to Get an Education
Getting a degree can open up many more job prospects for your kids, and a better-paying position will allow them to support themselves. Encourage them toward higher education if it fits with their career goals. The cost of college can be high, so you might consider helping them out with student loans. You can be a cosigner on a student loan from a private lender to help to get them approved to pay for college.
Don’t Be Their Servant
It’s easy to fall into the trap of making your kids’ lives too comfortable, preventing them from wanting to do anything on their own. Doing everything for them is one of the mistakes parents make when their adult children live with them and you are preventing them from being independent adults. You may explain that they need to help out around the house, including meal preparation, cleaning, and doing laundry. On top of that, you may have them help with some of their expenses, such as their phone bill or a portion of the food bill. These are the same things they would have to do and pay for if they were living on their own, and having them help with these things helps them understand the value of hard work.
If this is the first time you are putting restrictions on your child, you may want to set milestones instead of doing it all at once. If you are teaching them about saving money, for example, you might want to break up the lessons into categories instead of jumping right in with such a broad, but massive topic. Or perhaps you will have them start out doing more chores around the house, and a few months later, you might charge them rent as well. Make sure you let them know what your plan is and how you will get there. You should be as specific as possible about how it will work. If you are trying to get them to move out, you could tell them a portion of the rent money will be refunded once they move out. This is similar to the way a security deposit works in many apartment complexes.
Setting House Rules
If your child lived with a roommate, it’s likely they would have to abide by house rules, and not setting them can be a source of conflict. You should respect your child as another individual, but they need to do the same. Since you own the house, you should set the rules. You might restrict the number or type of people your child can have over, and you might enforce quiet hours. That doesn’t mean your adult child has to go to bed at a certain time, but after a certain time, you may tell them to avoid playing loud music, talking loudly, or doing anything else that would disturb you.
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