“How do we re-ignite our relationship?” is one of the most popular topics I hear discussed in Women’s forums and groups. It does makes sense since it actually concerns all couples. Yes, all couples struggle with a stale relationship at some point or another.

You know that feeling, the one when you are first dating and falling in love, sex is usually intimate and passionate. When you are discovering a whole other person it is fun and exciting, and they become the focus of your life. As time wears on, however, eventually the initial spark disappears as the day-to-day routines set in, or you have kids that take up your time, or you just become really busy. Just because the novelty of the relationship has worn off, or you have busy lives, doesn’t mean your feelings for each other have disappeared. And it’s important once in a while, during the madness of life, to stop and re-ignite your love and intimacy with each other.

There are many ways that couples can perk up their relationship and bring that spark back to life. Here are a few tips that don’t require a whole lot of effort or money, but can really help jump-start the spark in your relationship:

1. Add the element of mystery or surprise

Do little things for your partner, like showing up at work to take him out to lunch, or sending some chocolates in the mail. You don’t have to go overboard and buy an expensive gift or trip, little gestures that are a surprise can help mimic the emotional state of a new romance. 

gift valentines red hearts

2. Engage in a new activity together

Discover new interests with one another that will allow you to mimic the time when you first started dating. This can reignite your relationship by enabling you to re-experience the original emotional state you felt at the beginning of your relationship.

In other words, trying something new sparks excitement, producing passion. The change can be as simple as eating at a new restaurant, or you can take a fun trip together. Try things like hiking, scuba diving, or learning to do something new together. The sky is the limit.

skiing couple

3. Keep pillow talk limited to pillow talk

Let the bedroom be the place where intimacy happens. Keep your gadgets or reading material elsewhere and don’t bring them to bed with you. Make a habit of getting into bed with no distractions and just lie down together, and make sure you are going to bed about the same time as your partner.

4. Take a mini-vacation — just the two of you

While you don’t have to go far from home or spend a lot of money, you should try to get out of the house for at least one night (two days) to get away from your normal routines. Go somewhere that interests both of you so neither will be bored. Create new memories together. Be sure to go somewhere where you can both relax and there are no pressures so you can use the time for intimacy and passion.

couple on beach

If you are stuck at home, often you’ll be thinking about the laundry, lunch, paying the bills, cleaning the house, and checking things off your mental to-do list, while passion sits on the back burner. Taking that time to get away is important so you don’t have to worry about these things for even a couple days. If you have young kids, this is still important so try to enlist the help of family members or friends who could watch your kids for a night.

5. Kick up your adrenaline and arousal

When you are in a new relationship your heart races, you get giddy, you’re alert, awake and excited – you have an adrenaline rush. Things like exercising together, going on a roller-coaster, parachuting, are all adrenaline producing activities and can lead to arousal in your relationship. If you don’t have any exercise equipment at home, simply go for a run together and see what happens. 

You can also try increasing your sexual arousal by using products like the Fiera™. Fiera is the first wearable consumer product proven to spark sexual arousal and increase desire, naturally. Fiera® is a small, fast-acting, hands-free product that is designed to encourage blood flow and lubrication, warming up women’s body for a more satisfying intimate experience. 


Fiera® is a new class of product that’s for “before-play,” using a unique combination of soft suction and stimulating vibration to bring back that feeling of wanting to have sex. Use Fiera for a few minutes in advance of sexual intimacy with your partner, to get you ready and excited for a more pleasurable sexual experience. Fuel desire and anticipation and experience the benefits of a closer connection.

6. Play

Keep your relationship fun. We all have busy lives, financial responsibilities, a household (possibly full of kids) to run, but relationships also need to be about fun. 

You can play in many ways. For instance, go out in your snow-filled backyard and have a snowball fight or build a snowman once a week in the winter, or take bike rides together in the summer. Not only will you have fun and enjoy each other’s company, but being active while engaging in play can lead to arousal. 

couples bike riding

Just remember that when reigniting your relationship, the key is to shake things up consistently. The next time you are considering a date night, do something completely different. Keep the newness alive each and every time and keep that spark alive. 



I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.